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Why your dancing shoes don’t always make you happy

Dancing the Do-si-do

Have you ever noticed that in general, we British are pretty bad at either taking a compliment or at fending off sniping remarks by negative people? We do what the Winning Edge calls the ‘Justification Dance.’ It’s a funny concept really when you think about it, this notion that for some reason it’s necessary for us to justify our success or good points as well as to feel the need to justify our actions and choices, should someone disagree with them, judge them, or maybe have nothing better to do than make a throwaway negative comment.

What’s your favourite move?

There are two types of justification dance: firstly, to avoid the “embarrassment” of success and the feeling your good fortune somehow disadvantages others, we often counter generous remarks from positive people who are recognising and genuinely praising our achievements, by answering in a self-deprecating manner. Whilst this is very humble and noble, your...

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Allowing self-limiting beliefs to take hold is totally on you. But then, so is banishing them. 5 top tips to do just that.

Paperback writer

One of my values is growth so I have put my money where my mouth is and am currently studying for a Diploma in Coaching and Mentoring. It’s pretty hardcore and quite frankly, I underestimated the time I would need to commit to it. In addition to the days in the classroom, there is the reading, sessions with my mentee and coachees, the developmental, reflection and learning notes I’m to keep, let alone the 3,000 word assignments I’m to write during the duration of the course – all seven assignments.

I mistakenly thought that as I write blogs, this wouldn’t be a problem. Writing is writing, surely? Nope. I haven’t written an essay or handed in an assignment for 25 years. Yes, 25 years. Yikes. When I thought of it like that, I really did start to wonder what had I done?!

What you think about isn’t nearly as important as the way you think about what you think about

Isn’t it funny – well no, not really – how...

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Why we are held hostage to the emotions our values create – and how understanding this puts us in a powerful position

Taking matters in to your own hands

There’s an app on the iPhone called Find my iPhone (similar apps on Android phones are available), which helps you to locate and protect your mobile should it be lost or stolen.  I once read in the news about a couple of people who have used this particular app when their mobile was stolen and located their device and then confronted the thief. A ‘don’t try this at home’ warning is issued at this juncture…

In one case, a young woman reported her phone stolen but were told the Police didn’t have the resources to help. So, the victim took it upon herself to locate the phone and persuaded a couple of friends to come with her to get the phone back. They caught up with the perpetrator and realising he was outnumbered, he told the woman to follow him to his flat to get the mobile. Despite feeling unsure about the whole situation, she followed, with her friend as back-up. The second friend sensibly hung back and...

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How to train your brain so you can harness your power and be who you want to be

A goal is a dream with a date on it

I am the greatest was one of Muhammad Ali’s mantras and he believed it and lived it; in fact, he said it before he even knew he was – a wonderful example of how powerful affirmations are and that the facts will eventually catch up! Ali was and still is considered one of the greatest boxers and that was his dream.

Children have big dreams – to be an astronaut, an explorer, to run the country or to save the planet. Sadly, the reality is that for far too many children, these dreams gradually diminish and disappear. This prompts the question – why? Is it the grown-ups telling children to be more realistic – to have more attainable goals? Maybe. When we’re young, for the most part, we listen to those adults around us as they can have so much influence. Maybe we don’t go for those dreams because we put our own obstacles in the way – because we do listen to the naysayers, maybe it’s inertia, perhaps...

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Why your decision-making process isn’t as logical as you might think it is…

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics

As I write this blog, Election Day is looming. Flyers have been dropping through my door like billyoh, with each candidate professing they should be the chosen party for me because of x, y and z. It’s all just a load of ole puff in my opinion and I really don’t know which way to vote.

Having said this, I hold a strong value that I should vote – women fought hard for me to have that right and we are fortunate to live in a democracy where that is possible. And that’s just it isn’t it… All of our choices and decisions stem from our values so whether we decide to vote or not, will be down to the values we hold. The political party we choose to support will be because what they say they will do, will be most closely aligned to our values. We may well feel we’re caught between the devil and the deep blue sea but ultimately, if we are choosing to vote, we need to put that all important ‘x’...

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The excuses we give in life which ultimately mean we can’t be bothered…

‘If you’re not early, you’re late’

Is punctuality a challenge for you? Perhaps you constantly find yourself arriving five or ten minutes late - or maybe more - for meetings, lunch dates, dentist and hair appointments… Your reasons range from not being able to find your car keys or phone, the train was late or the traffic held you up; ‘I didn’t realise the time’, ‘I hit the snooze button too many times’, ‘I didn’t realise I hadn’t set the alarm’, ‘a friend popped round and we got chatting,’ blah blah blah. Reasons? Or just a string of excuses?

My excuses started when I met my husband. Up until this point, I was a stickler for punctuality – my parents were always on time, for everything, so I suppose you could say it was in my nature. Not so it would seem, because once I met my husband, I saw the more attractive laissez faire approach to time-keeping. He never rushed or hurried...

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Why to boldly go where you’ve never gone before, might be challenging but also hugely liberating and exciting!

Eight days a week

I was asked to speak at an event recently and it was a real mixed bag in terms of the age range of the audience; if anything, there were possibly more in the upper end of the age bracket. I was speaking on all things Winning Edge but focusing on living life consciously and in doing so, having a sense of purpose in life.

I’m ashamed to admit that I thought the older members of the audience might have been mildly dismissive when asked to think about the way they think – after all, they perhaps thought that by their age, they had it all sussed. However, the number of them who came up to me afterwards to say how thought-provoking my talk was, was reassuring – we all need reminding sometimes to make the most out of life.

The part of the talk which I think hit home the most was when I asked if they could give me a quick guestimate of how many days there are in the average lifetime (in the Western world, we are told this is approximately 80 years), so it...

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Why an attitude of gratitude will help you to be more open to opportunity and the good things in life

Don’t let gratitude be a platitude

It’s happened! I heard a Christmas song being played in my village shop today! (It’s not even December – surely, it’s still too early?!). 

Already, my children are producing ‘the list’. Depending on their age, it’s either being given directly to me or my husband, or it’s being put in an envelope addressed to Santa. I have to be quick off the mark and make sure I see the contents before it wings its way to the North Pole, otherwise, if I don’t see that list – there’ll be questions as to why Santa didn’t fulfil this year’s wishes and as a parent, you may well know how tricky that conversation is… 

I’m being asked by my parents and in-laws what I’d like for Christmas (why is everyone so much more prepared than me this Christmas?! It comes but once a year, it’s the same date each time and yet it always seems to catch me out…!)...

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Five steps to knowing what you want out of life and how to get there

Making sense of it all

Does thinking of what you want out of life feel a tad overwhelming? Do you feel a bit like a pinball being buffeted around by the flippers and springs of life with no sense of direction? You’re not the only one.

Setting goals – it can seem a big concept can’t it? When someone asks what your goals are for the future, or maybe the next 12 months, perhaps five years ahead, it can sometimes feel like making it through the day with your sanity intact is a goal in itself! So, how do you work out what it is you really want out of life and how do you go about achieving it?

Let’s face it, the possibilities are endless, so it’s about identifying for you what floats your boat, what will get you out of bed in the morning and motivated to keep going towards the achievement of your ambition.

This will depend hugely on your desire for said achievement. As last week’s blog explained, the amount of energy at our disposal is in direct...

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Why identifying lighthouses helps you to see the way forward

When you need more than faith, hope and chocolate fudge cake

I met a very inspiring woman recently. Laura and I met through a mutual friend and we got chatting, as you do over coffee and cake. We talked about our busy lives and she asked if I work and if so, what do I do. So, I explained all about the Winning Edge and mindset management. Laura was fascinated. As the conversation continued, I started to understand why she was so interested in what I do.

Laura doesn’t work because her daughter has cerebral palsy. Josie was starved of oxygen due to complications at birth and so Laura needs to be on hand day-to-day to help with Josie’s care. Josie is now 18 but she will never be able to live completely independently – she will always need a high level of care available. However, Laura has fought tooth and nail to ensure her daughter’s life is normalised as much as is possible, within the parameters of what her condition allows.

Fighting for Josie to go to...

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