Why understanding our emotional misdirection puts us back in the driving seat
I’m in a foul mood today and am working very hard on ensuring this isn’t misdirected and misplaced and that the wrong person feels my wrath for the wrong reason.
Taking a moment to think about the way I’m feeling and paring it right back to my thoughts, it’s not anger I am feeling, nor frustration - it is sadness which is manifesting itself in a different guise. There has been a bereavement in the family. Not unexpected and it’s far better our loved one is no longer in pain and is now in peace. Just because we knew they would leave us at any day, doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. It’s getting used to a new normal. The thoughts we’ve had have been consumed worrying about their level of pain, arrangements to visit them and so forth; these are now replaced with different thoughts – memories of the good times, the funny family...
Never judge a book by its cover
Growing up, I was always told never to judge a book by its cover – to not make assumptions about someone, to not listen to gossip but to get to know them and find out for myself. And certainly, to never share my thoughts with anyone else – if it isn’t true, kind or necessary, don’t say it. It’s good advice.
In a previous life I worked for a travel company. They ran coach tours to various parts of the UK and my role was to greet the passengers at a motorway services where an interchange took place – the tour coaches turned into what we called feeder coaches – taking the passengers home. The coach drivers would swap the luggage to the appropriate coaches and I ensured everyone boarded the correct vehicle. It could get confusing, hence the need for my role.
Coach drivers are all different characters – gruff, talkative, some went above and beyond with their passengers, for some it was just a job and they...
“Contrary to the cliché, genuinely nice guys most often finish first or very near it.” Malcolm Forbes
I write a lot about the importance of effective, open and transparent communication between managers and their teams and how this is what makes a manager a great leader. So, what about colleagues – those who we see day in and day out and who we spend possibly more time with than we do with members of our own family?
We spend so much time with colleagues, that surely it’s important to nurture authentic relationships with them.
There can be so many different personalities working within a team or department, not to mention the hierarchy of differing roles and positions, continuous harmonious relationships are probably a bit unrealistic. It can sometimes result in strained communication and potential misunderstandings.
In order for everyone to work effectively together, it’s important to remember we’re all human, we all have different stresses...