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Another Valentine’s Day victory? Why it’s actually all about you.

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red. These flowers are really for me, yes – that’s what I said!

So, Valentine’s Day has been and gone and many have enjoyed bunches of flowers that’ve been bought for them. Only they weren’t in fact bought for them. Their loved one actually bought them for themselves.

Eh? How’s that then?? How can buying flowers for someone else mean we’ve actually bought them for ourselves?!

Allow me to explain. We are never doing something for someone else, we are always doing it for ourselves, (I thought I’d cut to the chase fairly soon!) it’s just that a lot of the time, many people will benefit from it. Many people think the right thing to do is to always do things for others – to put their needs above theirs but in fact, that’s never the case.

We will always do what sits most emotionally comfortable with us at that time, compared with any other choice we might have. In other words, we always choose...

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Why understanding our emotional misdirection puts us back in the driving seat

Why understanding our emotional misdirection puts us back in the driving seat

Emotional vortex

I’m in a foul mood today and am working very hard on ensuring this isn’t misdirected and misplaced and that the wrong person feels my wrath for the wrong reason.

Taking a moment to think about the way I’m feeling and paring it right back to my thoughts, it’s not anger I am feeling, nor frustration - it is sadness which is manifesting itself in a different guise. There has been a bereavement in the family. Not unexpected and it’s far better our loved one is no longer in pain and is now in peace. Just because we knew they would leave us at any day, doesn’t mean the pain isn’t there. It’s getting used to a new normal. The thoughts we’ve had have been consumed worrying about their level of pain, arrangements to visit them and so forth; these are now replaced with different thoughts – memories of the good times, the funny family...

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