Apart from a few propensities we’re born with, a lot of what we’re like as children is down to the influences around us – our parents, family, teachers and friends, as well as the images we see in the media which we either try to relate or aspire to. You often hear parents say: “He’s so forgetful,” or “She’s such a serious little thing, always so responsible,” it’s as if children are being pre-conditioned before they’ve even had a chance to make their own mind up.
With these descriptions permeating the child’s subconscious mind, they’re being defined as a ‘type’ of person, so it’s no wonder they gravitate towards behaviour which reinforces this image of them – it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You hear people saying: “I’m hopeless at planning anything,” or “People say I don’t know how to have fun, I do, it’s just that I always seem to be the one organising everything.”
As much as these influences may have an effect on us as children – when perhaps we’re too young to understand the power of our thinking, once we reach adulthood we’re more than capable of running our brains in order to be the type of person we want to be, leading the life we want to lead. Of course, some of what we believe is so deeply embedded, it can feel like it’s definitive – pre-destined, but it is possible to make the change in our belief about ourselves, by changing the way we think about ourselves.
The world accepts me at my own evaluation of myself.
How we feel about ourselves on a day-to-day basis determines how others perceive us and treat us. People’s treatment of you will match your self-image. Have you ever been taken for granted? For example, colleagues at work volunteering you for a common scenario such as: “Oh Lara will organise the leaving card and present, she always does.” ‘Lara’ always wanted to organise the card because it sat more emotionally comfortable with her but maybe there comes a time when she no longer wishes to do it – it’s a case of put up or shut up. We can only be taken for granted whilst we let people.
If we want to be different, if we want to change something about ourselves, we can start Day One tomorrow. Maybe you want to have more confidence – to up level your self-belief; maybe you want to be bolder and take more risks – as we say on the Winning Edge: ‘Life should be a series of daring escapades launched from a solid base; perhaps lack of organisation is holding you back and you want some order in your life so you can move forward; maybe you’ve been stuck in a funk for a long term and you need to break the cycle and move on. It is possible. You can do it. And I’m going to help you.
These five tips , if followed daily and with intention, can help you to get your self-image to a place when you’re ready to take on anything:
Let nothing and nobody define you – they can only do this with your permission. Be you and be awesome.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” Mark Twain