What you say is what you get – the power of affirmations
Nov 15, 2021The power of speech
We all know we should do it - it’s easy, takes only a few minutes out of our day and makes such a difference long-term. No, I’m not talking about teeth-cleaning or early morning stretches, I’m talking about affirmations.
There are two forms of affirmations – the informal and formal. Both will have a huge effect on your self-image – they can either hinder or support your progress and can have such a huge impact to turn around the self-sabotage.
The informal affirmation is your self-talk and hugely affects your self-image – the beliefs you hold about yourself and therefore the choices and decisions you make in life as a result.
Formal affirmations are the structured sentences we repeat which can ensure our thought patterns create a positive outcome in our mind, thus the belief of what is possible.
Affirmations make a huge difference to the work you are putting in towards reaching your aspirations in life– they can bolster your visualisation technique – another powerful mindset tool, and support the goals you have written down; equally they can stand alone in helping you to improve your self-image and sense of self-worth.
Affirmations can be used as a tool to re-programme your neural pathways. Quite literally, you can run your brain, rather than let it run you.
“You’ve got to win in your mind before you win in your life.” John Addison
Let’s start with your informal affirmations – your self-talk. Your life is the evidence of the views and beliefs you hold about yourself, so if you want better, it starts with programming your mind with different thoughts, and this can be done through your self-talk.
We engage in “self-talk” whether we acknowledge it or not because we repeat self-talk over and over again to ourselves.
Let me ask you a question: can you think of one person, one person only, whose advice you listen to at all times? You should be thinking about the person reading this! Be careful what you tell yourself, because there is a silent listener in every conversation and it's your subconscious. We spend 70% of our life talking to ourselves, which is in effect, programming our subconscious mind with the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
You define your self-image by programming your subconscious with judgemental words and concepts which shape your beliefs about you. Examples of these are found in your everyday conversation. Most often you’ll be unaware that you are making an affirmation:
You might say: “I can’t save money”, then you’re absolutely right. “I’m always late”, “I always forget where my keys are”, “I never seem to be able to solve problems”.
Have you heard people say: ‘Every time I go on a diet I put it back on.’ Really??? Who is the first person to hear these words? You! Who do you believe? You! You are realigning neural pathways in the brain.
Have you ever said: ‘I can remember faces but can't remember names?’ Someone gives you their name, you look at it, think: “There’s one of those things I forget”, and subconsciously, you’ve thrown it away, ready for Confirmation Bias to prove you right. A great one: ‘I’m accident prone’ - never take a lift with someone who says they’re accident prone!
By catching yourself making informal affirmations, you can consciously edit and amend your everyday language to ensure that you are sending positive ‘instructions’ to your subconscious mind, such as: “I watch the pennies and pounds” “I’m getting much better at time-keeping”, “I always remember where my keys are”, “I’m solution-orientated and always find a way”, “I remember names with ease."
Changing the negative to the positive
You are your own chief advisor because you hear everything you say. It’s about intercepting your self-talk cycle– cutting the negative off at the pass and using positive self-talk, thus creating a positive self-fulfilling prophecy which means you will feel differently about yourself and accordingly, behave differently to build habits which serve you well, finding yourself with a brand-new set of circumstances. All because you changed the way you thought about yourself and the way you spoke about yourself.
You begin to behave in accordance with the new opinion you have of your ability and find yourself remembering names with just a little bit more ease than before, giving you proof that your efforts have paid off. Your self-talk has been substantiated and you have increased belief: “I really can remember names”. The effect is cumulative and can be used to improve almost every area of your life.
How you re-word your previously negative comments is important too. Remember that a negative dominant thought may be hidden in apparently positive thoughts, for example: “I won’t forget”, “I don’t want to fail” and “I don’t want to be broke at the end of every month”. All of these examples risk creating a dominant thought focusing on what you don’t want. Always use words that paint pictures of what you do want:
“I remember…”, “I am successfully…”, “I save £20 each month with ease.” The intention is much more positive. Can you see how that makes a huge difference?
Repetition is the mother of all learning so, if when you repeatedly tell yourself every day that you’re struggling with your business, or can’t ever get to sleep at night, or are no good at avoiding the treats and snacks... Guess what? You’re building yourself a big fat self-fulfilling prophecy because you’re conditioning your subconscious to create that reality.
This is when you need to tap into your conscious mind and effectively reboot your thinking to override these potentially harmful thoughts because your thinking and beliefs are directional and therefore affirmations are a way of steering them positively.
So, what do you say to yourself and about yourself? How are you describing yourself to others? What are you repeating on a daily basis? Unwittingly, you are programming your brain to believe it, therefore you’re accepting this self-made ‘truth’.
The nature of your self-talk is crucial because if you are conscious and master the skill, you will become more resourceful and steer your thoughts and beliefs in a positive direction– towards the result you want.
Repetition builds results
Formal affirmations are also key to changing how you see yourself- changing the negative to the positive. By formal, I mean deliberately constructed sentences designed to generate a positive belief and they also help to build your self-esteem and resilience. They are a kind of mantra if you will, and should be assumptive because repeated time and time again, they enable you to focus on and reinforce the kind of person you want to be and the kind of things you want to do and have; they help you move towards that new healthy dominant thought you are reinforcing regularly; you are already a slimmer you, a more assertive you or enjoying your promotion and the responsibility which comes with it.
In the early stages of using an affirmation, it can sometimes feel a case of ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ as you wait for your subconscious brain to catch up and make it a reality. Repeating the affirmations reboots your brain to believe in yourself. Assumptive affirmations are hugely effective in reprogramming habitual thought patterns which may have previously held you back. They can be specifically linked to written goals– for either personal or professional goals.
As a guiding principle, formal affirmations are most effective when they are expressed and applied in the following way:
- Written as personal - it is about you, so typically, the first word is “I”.
- They are always worded in the present tense- reality happens now – get a new reality in your head and wait for the facts to catch up. Repeating an affirmation to yourself as if it’s already happening means your brain will do all it can to make it happen.
- Ensure affirmations are positive, so use positive language, both in terms of benefits and in terms of expression that is, say what you want, not what you want to avoid. When creating your affirmations, use emotive words to create a sense of desire and success. For example: “Every day I feel fitter and healthier,” “I am successfully managing my money by saving 10% of my income every month”, “I am a calm, confident present parent,” and “I feel confident using my voice at work – people are interested in what I have to say.”
- Make them short and succinct– you’ll want to repeat these at least twice daily so avoid your own version of War and Peace!
- Repetition is vital. Remember affirmations are realigning neural networks and patterns in the brain. This takes time and consistency so formal affirmations are best repeated several times a day for a minimum of a month, before they can be expected to automatically impact on your actions. As Jim Rohn said: “Affirmation without action is called delusion.”
- Say affirmations out loud, it has an even greater impact for you. Sounds cringeworthy I know but once you get over yourself, you’ll start to feel and notice the positive impact it brings. Look at yourself in the mirror as you do so – with absolute conviction and self-belief. First thing in the morning and last thing at night are good times to repeat affirmations as the ‘doorway’ to the subconscious seems to be more open just before and after sleep - or at least we are not so distracted by the main activities of the day.
As you achieve one goal or feel confident in an area of your life because you’ve worked on your mindset with your formal affirmations and self-talk, revise the affirmations- keep them fresh. Come up with new affirmations to support you as you work towards your next challenge.
Understanding the application of affirmations is key, because then you understand why they work so effectively in rewiring the thought patterns in your brain.
Affirmations create and sustain beliefs. Positive affirmations create and sustain positive beliefs. Because we are designed to move towards our dominant thoughts automatically, positive belief systems become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Your subconscious mind constantly seeks to “prove you right” by filtering and shaping your perceptions, by stimulating memory and by providing ideas. Your affirmations effectively “instruct” your subconscious mind to mobilise its resources to “make it so”. Additionally, your own positive mindset will tend to have a positive effect on others, thus creating an environment geared to success.
Think of three assumptive affirmations that could support you right now and write them down. For example:
“I am enjoying creating more balance in my life.”
“I have a fabulous relationship with money and enjoying the security this brings.”
“I am loving building an exciting and profitable business.”
“I feel calm, confident and in control.”
“I am fit and healthy physically, mentally and emotionally.”
Remember this very powerful statement: “The quality of my actions cannot exceed the quality of my thinking.” Affirmations not only rewire your brain to believe the positive, they also give you permission to go for the great things in life.
So, grab a notebook and write down some assumptive affirmations, around something you fervently desire, they should begin with the word 'I' and written in the present tense, being specific, and if they relate to a specific goal, add a date where possible, and repeat them twice daily, at least. Pop them on post-its around the house, your work desk. Create something visual and have it as the wallpaper on your phone, on your laptop, iMac or iPad, printed and stuck on your fridge, or a cupboard door.
There will be apps, where you can get an audio version so you can embed the affirmations by listening to them. Or, simply add them as a reminder on your phone, so they ping up every morning.
Wouldn’t it be great to have that prompt every night before you go to sleep – rather than give thought time to the things you worry about, or feel frustrated about in life– instead, you’re so excited about the life you’re building for yourself.
As Thomas Edison said:
“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.”
It’s all down to you– whether you programme your brain with the negative stuff you believe about yourself or rewire it with the positive – even if that positive belief is going to take some work, it is possible to achieve. Give it a whirl. Think about what you might gain!
For some inspiration, on what to say to build your gratitude and self-belief, take a look at this – children can teach us grown-ups a lot!
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Do you have a positive self-image? How intact is your self-belief? If you need help turning it around, The Mindset Coaching Membership can help you understand the tools and strategies needed to be the best version of you. With Masterclass Teachings + Coaching + Accountability, we will help you to create the future you want. Find out more here.
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