What does success mean to you and how will you create it?May 24, 2021
Photo: Redditor Obladesque
This. I love everything about this. This is so Winning Edge. This is a Winning Edge Mindset.
What does it mean to have a winning edge mindset? I think for many, the words ‘winning’ and ‘success’ can be quite loaded. They feel winning and success is all about other people being the best at something, to beat everyone else, to perhaps strive to achieve financial goals, to be at the top of their game at work, to have the big house and fancy cars. That is not necessarily what success means for everyone though.
Secret of my success
Success means something different for everyone. For some, it’s those extrinsic gains – the fabulous holiday, owning a vintage car, plus the nippy sports car, and then there’s the 4x4 for everyday use. And that’s great. If that’s what you work hard for, and enjoy, then good for you.
For others, it’s perhaps about the intrinsic values – a feeling of contentment, fulfilment, personal growth, joy, fun, love and happiness. Very often when we feel we have achieved and maintained those intrinsic goals and they are our values, we can enjoy the extrinsic even more.
At the beginning of the Winning Edge programme, we ask participants to think about and note down what success means for them. It can take some quite a while to write something because I don’t think it’s something we give much thought to.
We perhaps get on that hamster wheel, go through the motions without ever really giving much thought to what we actually want out of life. Sure, for some, they do have stretching goals but so many don’t.
Only 2-5% of the population write their goals down and put a date on it. The very action of holding a pen and writing it down - seeing the goal written down fires off neurons in our brain telling us: ‘This is something important. I need to take notice of this and start working out a way to make it happen.’ That’s when it gets downloaded into our subconscious and we start noticing seemingly random things that are now relevant to us.
For example, you have a goal to set up a business as a bespoke kitchen cabinet maker. You have the skills but not much in the way of finances to make this a reality. You know there are the big guns out there selling kitchens, but you have passion and know you can create the dream kitchen that people envisage. However, you question who would pay the money you’d need to charge for the uniqueness of what you make. But you have the self-belief you can do this, and you mind map all your ideas and programme your brain with your goal. Then, it seems random things start to make themselves apparent such as spotting news of grants for skilled professions, or a local workshop space is advertised to let; you hear of an apprentice looking to learn a new skill; you see a crowdfunding page for a small new business, and it sparks an idea. All of this isn’t by chance. It’s your Reticular Activating System at work – a stem of nerves at the base of your brain, which is the portal through which almost all information enters the brain. We have a constant live feed from all the senses, which your RAS filters by reference to your goals, opinions, beliefs, interests, attitudes, prejudices, and expectations. It keeps the things it thinks are important and discards everything else.
When you break up with someone, all the songs you ever liked as a couple are constantly on the radio, or every song is about heartbreak! People who live next to a busy road no longer hear the traffic, but they hear their baby crying in the night. The RAS is the reason you learn the meaning of a new word and then start hearing it everywhere. It’s Confirmation Bias at work and the RAS is an opportunity spotter because it’s searching for the things of interest and that are important to you. So, it’s a great piece of kit to programme and then let it get to work to help you towards achieving your goal.
The world makes a path for someone who knows where they are going
With a strong sense of purpose, you need the following three ingredients to make it happen:
When we have the desire to achieve and we programme our brain with a goal, it’s the self-belief which then needs to kick in, otherwise we won’t go for it. The self-belief as well as the self-worth. Because even if we believe we have the capability to achieve something, we won’t go for it if we don’t believe we’re worthy of it.
Too often you hear: ‘Someone like me never gets to do something like that’ or: ‘No one in my family has ever been to University. It’s just not a path we follow’ or: ‘I’ve only ever known this kind of work. I think everyone would be shocked if I broke the mould.’ Who says all this is true? Is this set in stone? No. They are just thoughts – a story you tell yourself. These negative thoughts are not real - you get to create your own truth.
So how do you strive for that sense of purpose? How do you know what it is you want? Many feel like a rudderless ship with no sense of direction. The following tips will help:
- You’ll find deciding what your goals are much easier when you know what excites you, what brings you joy, feels fulfilling and challenges you in new ways.
- Know what your top 5 values are. Your goals will align with your values - when you know what’s important to you. That’s when all your decisions will flow. Maybe it’s adventure, financial security, creativity or challenge.
- Instil that self-belief and self-worth. You can do this with positive self-talk, assumptive affirmations and a vivid visualisation of both you working towards your goal, and achieving it.
I’ll be happy when…
Some people don’t set goals for fear of failure but of course the opposite of success is not failure – it’s to not try at all. It would be a nice safe space to exist where you never try anything for fear of messing up. But what an existence… To do the same ole same ole day-in-day-out. Some are happy as Larry to do that and maybe you’re one of them. However, I’m guessing that if you read these Mindset Blogs, part of you wants to push yourself, part of you wants to challenge the status quo in your life, part of you wants to feel amazingly confident like the girl holding the extremely large bird of prey…
Can you be successful without setting goals? Yes, but you won’t reach your full potential.
If you choose not to set goals, then you’ve set one haven’t you? You’ve set a goal to not set goals. Most people wait for success to happen. Have you heard people say: ‘When I get that car I’ll be happy’, ‘When I have kids I’ll be happy,’ ‘When I’ve got rid of the kids I’ll be happy’, ‘When I get a new job I’ll be happy’, etcetera. People are writing post-dated cheques for happiness they’ll never cash. They are just waiting for something to happen, thinking it can’t stay like this forever and that something will change eventually…
So, why not be the catalyst for that change? Why not put the wheels in motion by deciding what success means for you? You get to decide what it is you want from your life – you get to decide what your sense of purpose is and you get to make it happen. Set your goals, set your intentions and make a plan.
A winner’s mindset
Do you think people who enjoy their lives think differently from most? You bet your bottom dollar they do. They have a mindset where they think consciously about what it is they want to achieve, who they want to be, how they want to feel. They know what their version of success is, and they work hard to create it. Is it always easy? No. But then nothing worth having is always easy.
Success for me is to feel confident in myself, in my abilities; to be happy with who I am, what I have and what I do but to also strive for more great things, plus to have huge amounts of fun along the way; to be surrounded by amazing people who I love and who love me for who I am, but who also encourage me to keep on learning and growing to keep being an even better version of me. For me, a winning mindset is to carry myself with the confidence of a girl holding a massive owl.
My homework for you, should you choose to accept it: Write down what your definition of success is for you, for your life - before you shake off your mortal coil, what would need to have happened or who would you need to have become for your version of success to have been achieved? Once you know what that is, think about how you can make that happen…
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Do you find it challenging to work out what your version of success is? Maybe you don’t feel you have a sense of purpose and are like a rudderless ship with no sense of direction.
Would you like to feel more in control of the nature of your thoughts, to take your life in the direction you want to take it?
The Mindset Coaching Membership can help you understand the tools and strategies needed. With Masterclass Teachings + Coaching + Accountability, we will help you to create the future you want. Find out more here.
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