The benefits of living life more consciously

Bank Holiday Monday

One of my favourite parts of The Winning Edge course when the lightbulbs switch on with the participants, is when I ask everyone to guestimate how many days there are in the average lifetime. No calculators on mobile phones to be used, no quick math, just their brain quickly coming to a figure they think is realistic.

The following figures usually come up: 35,000, 50,000, 75,000,100,000 and 150,000.

The average lifetime in the Western world, which is said to be around 80 years, gives you a figure of approximately 30,000 days. That’s around 4,000 weekends.

Boom. Mic drop. Cue lightbulbs flicking on.

It kind of gets things into perspective doesn’t it, and a stark reminder of how time flies.

And just to hammer this home, I give the following illustration which for those of you who’ve attended a Winning Edge course, will be of no surprise to you…

If we go by the Bible’s three score years and 10 – i.e. 70 years – and allocate a day of the week to each decade, which day would you be on?

Monday               0 - 10 years                        Friday                   41 – 50 years

Tuesday               11 - 20 years                      Saturday             51 - 60 years

Wednesday         21 – 30 years                     Sunday                 61 – 70 years

Thursday             31 – 40 years                     Bank Holiday Monday…!

This hits home how important it is to live life more consciously and in doing so, how having a sense of purpose in life helps you to have a sense of direction. To know what you want in life and to go for it-  to see the possibility and opportunities in change and to embrace them.

It’s so easy to get stuck on the hamster wheel of life. Each day running around, turning the cogs of commerce to pay for the things we want. As Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Ellen Goodman once said:

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."

So, are you making a living or designing a life?

Change your thoughts, change your life

A very good friend of mine once said: Nothing changes if nothing changes which goes hand in hand with Einstein’s definition of insanity:  “…doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

You often hear people reflect on their life and say things like: “I always wanted to go to Australia.” Well my answer would be: “Not enough, because you didn’t go!” There would then no doubt be a number of reasons proffered to me as to why they didn’t go such as they needed to work to pay the mortgage, they couldn’t take that much time off work, they needed to care for an elderly relative, they’d miss the family too much. All absolutely valid reasons for not going. But those reasons did not stop them from going to Australia – the potential traveller stopped themselves.

For we will always behave in a way that is consistent with our emotional needs - when we make a choice, it's always the easiest for us emotionally at that time compared with any other choice at that time. In other words, we always choose the option with the consequences that are easiest for us to bear emotionally.

This concept kicks away the emotional crutch which many hold on to, but it also puts you in the driving seat of your life and is hugely liberating and empowering. Adopting this kind of mindset – that you always choose to do what sits emotionally comfortable for you, means you have an internal locus of control – rather than to blame things on external forces. It means that rather than using victim words such as: ‘I have to’, ‘I should’ and 'I've got to', instead you use empowering words such as: ‘I want to’ ‘I choose to’ and one of my favourites which totally changes your perspective on things: ‘I get to.’

When you view your life through the lens that you get to do things, rather than have to do them, it feels so different. Your attitude and motivation changes. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t always like what we want to do, but we want to do it more than we don’t want to, or else we wouldn’t be doing it. And another thought-provoker on The Winning Edge is if you ever want to know where you really want to be – take a look at where your feet are. That’s a great one to remember during the festive season when you think you’d rather not be at that Christmas party, or you don’t want to be at another school Carol Concert, or you really don’t want to be with the in-laws… Based on the consequences and your emotional needs, you’re right where you want to be.

The big wheel keeps on turning but is it a mill stone or a Ferris Wheel?

Let’s circle back to the 30,000 days and the 4,000 weekends and the ‘What day of the week are you on?’ question. Are you living life consciously?

What stops you from pursuing your goals in life? Is it inertia – maybe it takes too much energy to challenge the status quo? Maybe it’s fear of failure holding you back – ultimately your self-limiting beliefs. But what if, instead of worrying about all that could go wrong, you focused on all that could go right? What if change opened you up to exciting options that you might never have realised if you’d kept your imagination small – if you’d kept yourself small?

If you love living the life you have and don’t want anything to change, that’s great- if you know you’ve consciously made that choice. You may well live a wonderful life in a comfortable home, loving family and a wide circle of friends, a secure financial future, regular holidays and everything feels super duper. Why change? No reason to. Unless you do hanker after mixing it up a bit. And if you do, that’s OK too. Work out what it is you want to change by thinking about your values.

Maybe more adventure is what you crave. Possibly some self-development or maybe helping others through volunteering. Perhaps you look around and want more for you and your loved ones. Perhaps you feel you want to achieve more, maybe achieve a better level of financial security for the future, maybe you’d like more money so you can enjoy the nicer things in life. You want to be better, and you want better.

Change can be good, change can be a gateway to things you could never have imagined you’d find yourself doing. Challenging yourself to learn and grow will enrich your life.

Dropping the coulda woulda shoulda mindset

This is not a rehearsal, this is it. One life. So, rather than shuffle off at the end and wonder where it all went, why not embrace change, embrace challenge, embrace the new and move forward and live your life - this one life. Where you can be great and awesome and brilliant.

There are multiple benefits to living life consciously:

-              Life seems longer
-              You generally enjoy better health
-              You notice when the roses come out
-              You notice when your loved ones do something different
-              You feel more in control of the now and the part you play
-              You’re in the moment
-              You’ve peace of mind
-              You know why you’re doing what you’re doing
-              You feel empowered and liberated

One person for whom the lightbulb pinged on and who embraced this mindset was My Godmother Judi – at the age of almost 70, she went on a trip to India. Judi hadn’t travelled to foreign climes for almost 30 years and certainly had never been away without her husband. She went for it though. She embraced change because she reinvented herself as Judi Dench’s character did in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – the fiercely independent traveller. If Judi can do it at 69, then so can we all.

My message to you – work out what day of the week you’re on and live life more consciously!

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Do you feel stuck in a rut? Do you feel life is passing you by? Are you unsure what you want and even if you did, how you'd summon up the courage to go for it?

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