A leader of leaders and the lessons Queen Elizabeth II taught us

A time of reflection

I took some weeks off from blog writing over the summer holidays. Two weeks were spent on a National Lampoon’s European vacation (so many blogs can be written on that alone!) and then a slightly pared-down working week until my children went back to school.

I thought normal service would be resumed once the new academic year began however, only for a few days, because last Thursday, we learnt of the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II – who had been our Sovereign for 70 years – a constant in most people’s lives.

Whether you are a Royalist or not, whether you believe there is a place for the monarchy in today’s society, it cannot be disputed that Queen Elizabeth was someone who reigned with duty, strength, hope, resolve and dignity. Her steadfastness, calm and resilient nature saw her through many a tough time. Many are finding her death extremely sad, and it is a time for reflection of her life and of her reign.

Throughout her reign, the Queen saw much change socially, politically, culturally, economically and also, there was much change within her own family. Her motto of ‘Never complain, never explain’ meant that she kept tight lipped about any difficulties she faced. Of course, many might say she led a privileged and cosseted life – cushioned from hardship. That’s not to say sadness, disaster, or challenging times did not visit her. However, she would keep calm and carry on, I believe, due to her strength of character.

I would love to have had an insight into the Queen’s mind – the nearest I’ve got to it is watching The Crown… It would have been fascinating to have an understanding into her mindset and how she felt about her duty- how she kept that calm exterior and coped with so much change.

Mind control

Your thinking is fundamental to how you live your life. Your thinking is intrinsically linked to your circumstances. True grit, resilience and a mindset of absolute self-belief are powerful weapons that you can employ when you face a challenge head-on. What may have previously seemed insurmountable can be tackled. But only when you have allowed your thoughts to settle- when you have recognised that time is needed. Your belief that you're doing the best you can, this is your motivation for overcoming so many challenges in life.

When you are in a situation where you feel helpless and cannot alter the course of events, think about what you can control – the nature of your thoughts. This is a powerful position to be in because you get to choose the direction your story takes from that point.

When life-changing events take place, it can take some time to find a new normal. In the immediacy of a situation that may have turned your world upside down, your thoughts are scrambled.

On The Winning Edge Programme, the foundation of our mindset teachings is the Thinking to Results© model – we explain that we create our results and circumstances in life because of the nature of our thoughts. If we constantly have thoughts whereby, we believe we’re not capable of achieving great things in life, or that we’re not worthy of happiness or success, or that we don’t have the strength to cope with tough times in our lives, what are the chances we’re likely to believe in ourselves, or be able to handle life’s curve balls? Pretty slim. However, if our thoughts centre on believing we have the ability to work through difficult times and we have the resilience to cope, that’s when we have the inner self-belief and esteem to know we can do our best. Does this mindset 100% guarantee we’ll be successful in coping with the situation? No. But it does mean we are much better placed to keep moving forward and have the mental reserves when the chips are down.

Two of the most important words on the Thinking to Results model are over time. In times of grief, shock, immense disappointment, feeling you’ve failed at something, or during times of heartache, it might feel nigh on impossible to sort through your thoughts. You may feel numb, on automatic pilot, going through the motions. There is absolutely no way you can think about the way you are thinking, to re-order the nature of your thoughts to feel the way you want to feel, to then act the way you want to act and thus get the results you want. That’s when you need to give yourself a break, take your foot off the gas and allow your brain to just be. Allow it to settle. Over time, you will be able to regulate your thoughts.

Grief for example, can feel all-consuming. It is not something we move through, it is something we learn to live with, we exist alongside it. That takes a lot of time. There is no timetable, it depends on each individual and their circumstances. However, over time, we do have the option to choose our path.

No constant but change

Until the end of the day of Queen Elizabeth’s funeral, we are in a national period of mourning. Some may see this as important, some may consider it as unnecessary, again, depending on your own individually held views. But it can be a time for reflection for all of us. I read an article in the past few days which said there's an important lesson every leader can learn from the example Queen Elizabeth set. Consistency--the ability to do the same job in the same way year after year and decade after decade, even as the world changes around you, has a tremendous power to reassure and inspire those you lead. 

The Queen also recognised the importance of adapting to change- that nothing in life stays the same. Addressing Parliament in 2002 as the nation celebrated her Golden Jubilee, Queen Elizabeth II said of her reign: “Change has been a constant, managing it has become an expanding discipline. The way we embrace it defines our future.”
Wise words indeed.

Do you find it challenging to cope when life throws the curve balls? Do you find it difficult to find a way to sort through what feels like a spaghetti junction of thoughts?

We can help with that.  

The Mindset Coaching Membership can help you understand the tools and strategies needed to get your mindset in check. With Masterclass Teachings + Coaching + Accountability, we will help you to create the life you want. Find out more here.