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The three choices you have over the challenges you face

Which camp are you in?

There’s uproar in my village. The new village hall, which is seven years in the making, has had it’s opening date put back yet again. It’s a long, protracted story which I won’t bore you with, needless to say, everyone is feeling rather frustrated that the builder involved is stringing us along.

There are many who feel frustrated and disappointed but who keep their grumbles to themselves, because they know there’s a hardworking committee who’ve been doing their best to get things moving. No one wants to finger point because they themselves wouldn’t want to volunteer for the role, so they therefore feel it’s not their place to criticise.

Unfortunately, not everyone takes this view. There are a group of people in the village who will moan at any given opportunity about the slow progress, how awful the developer is and ‘what on earth are the committee doing to allow this to go on?’.

Three ways to think...

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Why your dancing shoes don’t always make you happy

Dancing the Do-si-do

Have you ever noticed that in general, we British are pretty bad at either taking a compliment or at fending off sniping remarks by negative people? We do what the Winning Edge calls the ‘Justification Dance.’ It’s a funny concept really when you think about it, this notion that for some reason it’s necessary for us to justify our success or good points as well as to feel the need to justify our actions and choices, should someone disagree with them, judge them, or maybe have nothing better to do than make a throwaway negative comment.

What’s your favourite move?

There are two types of justification dance: firstly, to avoid the “embarrassment” of success and the feeling your good fortune somehow disadvantages others, we often counter generous remarks from positive people who are recognising and genuinely praising our achievements, by answering in a self-deprecating manner. Whilst this is very humble and noble, your...

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How do you define what happiness is to you? Here's a profound list to start you off...

Sometimes when we read about a person’s situation and it can leave a lasting impression. This was the case for me when I read about Annmarie James-Thomas, who died aged 44 from complications caused by cervical cancer.

Annmarie had four young sons and reading her story took my breath away and led to feelings of why is life – and death – so unfair. What softened that feeling was that this amazing inspirational woman, upon learning her cancer was terminal, decided she wanted to leave behind an important legacy for her children, not one of money, but of words. Annmarie wanted to leave a life guide for her sons and this included her top twenty tips on how to lead a happy and successful life.

Defining what success is for you

‘Success’ can mean different things depending on who you are. Perhaps in its more traditional sense, people think of it to mean you have a fantastic well-paid job; maybe you are financially buoyant; you own your property, if not...

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How your values set you apart from everyone else

It’s amazing how a film can evoke such strong emotions in you… My husband and I sat down to watch the next instalment of the oh-so gripping Killing Eve drama last week and whilst he popped off to make a cuppa, I was lining up the episode on BBC IPlayer. However, I was distracted by the film playing out as I switched on the TV.  Even though it was 40 minutes in, I was gripped and as my husband walked back in, apparently I was clutching the remote as if to say: “Don’t even think about Killing Eve.”

The film in question was The Light Between Oceans, based on the book by M.L.Stedman and starring Alicia Vikander (Isabel Graysmark) and Michael Fassbender (Tom Sherbourne). If you haven’t watched it, the premise is that mentally and emotionally weary from serving in the First World War, Tom takes on the job of a lighthouse keeper on a remote island off the Australian West Coast. It’s a life of solitude until he meets and...

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